The Roxy Show
by Moe23
Summary: This was a join fan fic between me and lady of the wolves. it is so funny. What happens during a love triangles show? pleas R/R and find out!
1. Kel/ Love triangles

Tortall on Roxy Fox   
  
  
by Lady Knight & Lady of the Wolves   
  
This is a joint fic between (duh) Lady of the Wolves and Lady Knight. Please   
R&R!   
  
  
  
Audience shouts and claps, standing up in seats. Noise dies down as a pretty   
woman with big blonde hair comes onstage, smiling and waving. Theme song plays.   
Audience: ROXY! ROXY!   
Roxy: Hi and welcome to my show! I am Roxy Fox! Let's hear it for me!   
Audience cheers.   
Roxy: On todayay's show, our topic is: Love Triangles!   
Audience goes wild.   
Audience: Roxy! Roxy!   
Roxy: Our guests have come all the way from Tortall, so let's hear it   
for...Keladry of   
Mindelan!   
Crowd claps.   
A tall, muscular, pretty woman with light brown hair comes onstage, smiling   
nervously. Roxy   
shakes her hand.   
Roxy: Welcome, Keladry!   
Keladry of Mindelan: Thank you, Roxy. Please call me Kel.   
Roxy: Thanks for coming on the show, Kel! Why don't you tell us about your   
problem?   
Kel: Actually.....I have TWO problems, Roxy. *Sniff sniff*   
Audience: Awww...   
Roxy: We'd love to help you, Kel. So, let's bring out.... Cleon of Kennan,   
your   
boyfriend!   
Audience applauds.   
A big man with curly red hair, looking confused, comes onstage.   
Roxy: Please, have a seat, Cleon.   
Cleon sits down, still looking confused.   
Roxy: Cleon, Kel needs to talk to you.   
Cleon: About what?   
Kel: *sniff sniff* Cleon, I'm so confused about our relationship!   
Cleon: What are you confused about, Kel?   
Kel bursts into tears.   
Audience: BOO! BOO!   
Cleon: SHUT UP, OKAY?!?!   
Offstage, goons glare at him and he gulps.   
Cleon: I mean, tell me what's wrong, Kel.   
Kel: Well....it's-it's another man!   
Cleon (jumping out of his seat in anger): WHAT?!?! WHO IS IT?!?!   
Roxy: Let's bring out the man Kel's been seeing-behind Cleon's back!   
A door opens and a lanky man with brown hair and green eyes comes onstage,   
smiling at the   
audience.   
Roxy: Let's welcome Nealan of Queenscove!   
Cleon runs across the stage and in a flying leap lands on Neal.   
Kel: Cleon, stop it!   
Cleon begins to punch, hit, and kick Neal. Neal fights back, but Cleon has   
the   
advantage of being bigger. Goons from offstage run on and pull the men apart.   
Neal: Geez, what was that for?!?!   
Cleon (being constrained by goons): Don't you come NEAR my woman, you-you   
loser!   
Neal: Excuse me?!   
Roxy: Ahem. Now Kel, please explain our problem.   
Kel (drying eyes with Kleenex): Well, it's-it's Cleon.   
Cleon: What the HECK did I do?   
Kel (standing up angrily): You're ENGAGED!   
Audience gasps.   
Roxy (excited): Ooh! Tell us more, Kel!   
Kel: I'll be glad to!   
Lady in Audience: Ditch him, girlfriend!   
Different Lady: He don't deserve you, honey!   
Kel: Well, Cleon's betrothed to an heiress...   
Cleon: But I want to marry you!   
Kel: YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOUR MOTHER ABOUT ME, YOU DON'T REALLY LOVE   
ME!!!!!!   
Audience: ROXY! ROXY!   
Neal: Yeah, Cleon, you just like having two girls!   
Cleon stands up and goes over to Neal, who winces.   
Cleon: You wanna take this outside?   
Neal: YES YOU BRODCASTING CENSORING IN USE!   
Cleon-You're a loser, Neal, and that's ALL you'll ever be!   
They start to fight again.   
Kel- STOP! I have something to tell both of you! I love Joren!   
Roxy- Bring him out!   
Neal- HE IS DEAD!!!!   
Roxy- We can bring him back to life!   
Kel smiles evilly at Cleon and Neal, who are staring at her in shock   
Roxy-Let's welcome Joren of stone Mountain!   
A handsome man with pale blonde hair comes out and sits in a chair, eyeing   
Roxy.   
Cleon & Neal glare at him. Neal and Cleon jump on him.   
Joren: No! Get off! OW!!!!   
Goons rush onstage and pull men apart.   
Roxy: But Joren, you have something to tell Kel!   
Kel stares at him.   
Joren (fidgeting): Um, well....Kel, I've been, well-   
Kel: Spit it out, man!   
She runs over and takes his hands in hers.   
Kel: Joren, I LOVE YOU!!!!   
Joren: I don't love you! I love Lalasa!   
Kel, Neal and Cleon- You Will die a horrible death all over again!!!!!!!!   
They jump on him.   
And beat him up.   
Roxy: Let's bring out Lalasa!   
Man in Audience: What a slut!   
A woman comes onstage and sits in a chair. Joren smiles lovingly at her.   
Lalasa- Ummm, Joren-you are terrible. I love LORD Wyldon!!   
Joren (jumping up): What? I'll kill Wyldon! He doesn't deserve you, baby!   
Kel: And you don't deserve me, you-you player!   
Kel jumps on Joren, they begin to fight.   
Goons pull them apart as Cleon and Neal try to join in.   
Audience: ROXY! ROXY! ROXY!   
Cleon: So who's it gonna be, Kel?   
Lalasa runs offstage, followed by Joren.   
Kel: Whhhhaaaa!!!   
Kel starts to cry.   
Guy in Audience: Hey baby, come with me!   
Kel: I choose... Neal!   
Neal: Wahoo!   
Cleon: BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?!??!   
Roxy (batting her lashes): I'm free, baby!   
Cleon: KEL, I LOVE YOU!!!!!   
Cleon throws himself at Kel's feet, and he grabs her and sobs.   
Neal: Kel, I'll protect you!!!   
Neal and Cleon start to fight   
Goons pull them apart.   
Roxy: Well that is another episode of Roxy! Tune in next time for...   
Cleon: NO!!!! KEL, MARRY ME!!!   
Audience: Roxy! Roxy!   
Roxy: JON, GEORGE AND ALANNA!   
Audience cheers.   
THE END   
  
  
Hee hee, we wrote this in a process of Instant Messaging.   
Sorry if you donot like Neal. Please review. And we are   
sorry if it messed you up for life and you need, like,   
serious therapy. :)   
~Lady of the Wolves/Lady Knight   
  
  



	2. Alanna/ Love triangles

Episode 2: The Roxy Show   
  
by Lady Knight & Lady of the Wolves   
  
  
  
  
THE ROXY SHOW   
The biggest thing since Jerry Springer!   
  
  
Audience claps and shouts: Roxy! Roxy!   
A blonde woman with puffy hair comes onstage wearing a red dress.   
Woman: Hi, I'm Roxy, and thanks for joining us today on my show!   
Roxy: Please give a hand for Alanna, the Lady Knight!   
A short woman with red hair comes onstage and sits down.   
Roxy: Alanna, tell us what's wrong, honey.   
Alanna: I HATE MEN!!!   
Crowd whistles and cheers.   
Roxy: Come on, darling, tell us what's wrong!   
Lady in audience: You go girl!!!!   
Alanna: I CAN'T CHOOSE!!!   
Roxy: Tell us more!   
Alanna: THERE ARE TOO MANY STINKING MEN IN MY LIFE!!!   
Roxy: Let's bring out George Cooper, Alanna's...husband!   
Same lady: I'll take care of it for ya! I'll kick their BUTTS!   
Audience: ROXY! ROXY!   
Roxy: let's give it up for... BARBRA WALTERS!!!!   
Guy in Audience: BUT she's no man!   
Barbra: Alanna, let's start by kicking his broadcast censor in use!!!   
Alanna: OK!!!   
They lunge towards the door that George is about to come out when the goons   
stop them   
and hand them cattle prods.   
Goon#10: Here, these should help you beat him into the ground!!!!!!   
A door opens onstage and George Cooper comes on.   
He doesn't notice the 2 women who are waiting for him.   
They jump on him and begin to attack till goons pull him away.   
Roxy: Well, ummmmm....   
A guy in a suit interrupts her he hands her a card.   
Roxy: People, wait for me! This is getting our ratings though the roof.   
Goons, let them   
fight!   
The goons step away and they attack George.   
Until they finally let him up and he sits in the chair farthest from them.   
George: Alanna, did you want to talk to me or attack me?   
Alanna: Heh heh heh.   
Roxy: Let's bring out King Jonathan of Conte!   
Gorge: YOU'VE BEEN CHAETING ON ME?!?!   
Alanna: You fool! I am NOT cheating on you!   
George: Then what's the problem.   
Roxy: Well, there IS another problem...   
Alanna: Sigh. Bring him out.   
A man with bright eyes and black hair walks in. A large crown rests on his   
head.   
Jon: Why am I here?   
Alanna: I hate you both! You ruined my life!   
George and Jon: WHAT?!?!   
Girl in Audience: Men ALWAYS do!   
Barbra: Well, if they are bugging you why don't you just beat them into the   
ground with a   
sitck?   
Alanna: I can't. I'm a knight; I have duties to the king.   
Jon: Why did you make me come?   
Alanna (furious): I WOULD have married you if you hadn't dissesd me then   
cheated on   
me!   
Audience gasps.   
Roxy: Tell us more, Alanna!   
George: Hey, what about me?   
Alanna (getting madder and madder): I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU!!   
Jon: IT WAS A FLING!!! Let's get married, baby!   
Alanna: WE ARE BOTH MARRIED, YOU FOOL!!!   
Jon: SO?   
George: Alanna, let's go home and play with the children!   
Audience: Roxy! Roxy!   
Guy in Audience: Ditch them! I'm free!   
Alanna: I AM SICK OF MEN!   
Roxy: So what will you do, Alanna?   
Alanna: I'm leaving you both and going to Vegas!   
Barbra: I am coming! They both run off the stage.   
Roxy: I'm afraid that's all the time we have today. We'll see you next time   
on-   
George and Jon: Alanna! WAIT! THEY glare at each other and begin to fight.   
Audience: Roxy! Roxy!   
The End   
  
  



	3. Daine/love triangles

Audience: ROXY! ROXY!  
A tall blonde in a blue outfit comes onstage, smiling brightly. She waves  
Roxy: Today we are going to do a very special show, please welcome Diane!  
Audience: Roxy! Roxy!  
An attractive young woman wearing a green gown with long brown curls walks onstage nervously  
Audience: Roxy!  
Roxy: So, Diane, tell us: what's the problem?  
Diane crying- It's NUMAR! He is just too fresh for me!   
Roxy- Well, let's bring him out!  
Audience: ROXY! ROXY!  
A tall man with a black long horse tail stumbles out, eyes burning with rage.  
Numair: What the @#$%^&* is wrong, Daine? Is it another man? ANSWER ME!!!!  
Daine- YOU ARE WHAT'S WRONG! YOU ARE TOO FRESH! I WANT KADDAR!  
Roxy- speaking of kaddar let's bring him out!  
A man wearing important clothes struts onstage  
Roxy: please welcome kaddar!   
Daine smiles and bats her eyelashes at him. He stares at her and Numair tackles him, beating him up  
Goons run onstage and pull Numair off Kaddar, who is fighting back  
Dane- YOU GO KADDAR!  
Numair glares at Kaddar with his death glare  
Kidder's chair bursts into flames  
Kaddar grabs a javelin from his belt and throws it at Numair. It hits him squarely in the forehead  
Numair: ouch  
Roxy: Kaddar, how do YOU feel about this situation?  
Kaddar: I think numar... Wanna get married?   
Numar- ok... let's go  
Daine: WHAT!?!? NNOOOOOOOOO  
Numair: You're just a baby, dear. Kidder's a real man!  
Kaddar: Oh yeah baby!  
Roxy: I am going....to be sick.  
Daine: But you never said u were gay!  
Cleon enters out of no where.   
Cleon: Daine... Will YOU marry ME?  
Dane: ok!  
Daine and Cleon exit and Kaddar and Numair exit  
Roxy: Ooooooooookay.....then.  
Audience: Roxy! Roxy!  



End file.
